Let's Talk: How to Have Better Conversations

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research has shown the presence of a mobile phone during a deep conversation can result in feeling less of a connection. Really readable with interesting contributions from and references to a wide range of experts and conversationalists including Matthew Syed, Johann Hari, Jordan Peterson, a police negotiator, a clinical psychologist, and even Lorraine Kelly! Best bits and takeaways for me are: Nihal interviews a range of people for whom communication is a key part of their life and business, whilst blending in some of his own stories and experiences along the way, to highlight his key recommendations for the importance of open and varied communication, and how we need to improve in ‘the art of conversation’. I like that he uses the final chapter to summarise the majority of the key points from his interviewees.

if you're really engaging with someone you've got to enter their space and be whoever you need to be within that space. But there is a core of who you are that remains constant.

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the Chinese symbol for listening is called Ting and contains images that represent ears for listening, eyes for seeing, the heart for feeling, and undivided attention. Let's Talk blends Nihal's experiences as an acclaimed interviewer with expert and celebrity opinion on the secrets and psychology behind successful communication. From tracing the evolution of dialogue to discovering what lights up in the brain when we're enjoying a good discussion, Nihal speaks to conversational authorities including Lorraine Kelly, former president of Ireland Mary McAleese, Professor Tanya Byron, internationally bestselling author Johann Hari, Matthew Syed, and many more, to find out why good conversation has eroded over time and how we can fix it. I just couldn't bring myself to press that one star button even though I think this is one of the few books that I think might deserve it.

That social attitudes in the modern world are polarised, and defined in the words of James Haskell as ‘I’m offended, prove me wrong’ in a conversation, look at the people around you like an orchestra. Your job is to give each part a chance to play - the strings, percussion, brass, and woodwind. In many ways this is not like any of the books I have read in the past, in the sense that this is not an easily read fiction book, or even an autobiography. In some ways this is very similar to some of the other books that I have read more recently, in that this requires concentration and provokes introspection, and a desire to continue to develop. Read this fascinating book and you'll become a better listener, a better conversationalist and better company' Adam Kay'A brilliant book on the art of conversation' Matt Haig'A compulsory book for these divided times' Sathnam Sanghera'An intriguing exploration of the importance of a proper chinwag' Sara Cox'A terrific book from a terrific broadcaster. In my opinion it could be improved with some key takeaways or action points at the end of each chapter, making it more of a self-help book for every day conversations. But these are summed up nicely in the conclusion.In the post-covid world where you are more likely to converse over social media, Teams or chat apps we are losing the art of conversation, Nihal argues. However, he is keen to point out: When you see a true master of verbal communication, remember that these are learned behaviours, not something innate which you are either born with or not. Which means not only can we become more effective communicators if we choose but that we should not let those who do not employ them off the hook when there is a better alternative." Mathew's rule is to talk to the oldest and youngest person in the room , you're much more likely to hear 2 different perspectives and to reshape your own. That most conversations are a series of passive, vaguely connected statements as opposed to actively engaging in what is being said Conversations are broken. And while effective dialogue is supposed to lead to greater fulfilment in our personal and professional lives, all the scientific evidence points towards us sharing fewer interactions than previous generations. From ever decreasing face-to-face meetings to echo chambers online, we no longer have the necessary tools to talk to each other.

Matthew Syed used to terrified of public speaking he's now an in demand speaker with over 150 speaking gigs a year. He says there are 3 essentials to overcome self doubt; a mindset where you're seeking to learn, decent mentoring and not giving up when you hit an obstacle. That actively listening more, providing the speaker with your full and undivided attention, and talking less yourself, is key to holding good conversations From tracing the evolution of dialogue to discovering what lights up in the brain when we're enjoying a good discussion, Nihal speaks to conversational authorities including Lorraine Kelly, former president of Ireland Mary McAleese, Professor Tanya Byron, internationally bestselling author Johann Hari, Matthew Syed, and many more, to find out why good conversation has eroded over time and how we can fix it. Part how-to and part manifesto, Let's Talk is Nihal's accessible, anecdotal and invigorating toolkit to having better conversations with anyone, any time.It was also a shame that it just felt like Nihal's ego was seeping throughout the entire book. By the end of the introduction, I was already growing to dislike him after constant bragging and ensuring the reader knows how talented and qualified he is at conservation. This continues, and by the final chapter, he is still singing his own praises. It was hard to get through. When I read the first line of chapter 1, I actually cringed. "The Oxford English Dictionary defines conversation as...". 🤢