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In Control: Dangerous Relationships and How They End in Murder

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These are demonstrated through case studies, homicide reviews, and interviews with perpetrators and the families and friends of victims. Jane Monkton-Smith takes us through the eight stages that an abuser will follow should the worst happen, but of course there are many more who make journeys along, or around, the earlier stages. It describes how perpetrators establish and maintain control through fear and routines, some of which may seem innocuous.

She has authored a new model for understanding and assessing risk of homicide in cases where there is domestic abuse. Had I read this book or something like it years ago, it would've opened my eyes to my own, thankfully short coercive relationship.to protect themselves (which may appear to be self sabotaging to third parties) and historical and existing cultural norms, practices and laws that protect abusers or make it difficult for the abused to exit situations.

I found this book to be extremely validating for victims of coercive control/domestic abuse (both seen and unseen). I wish I had known this 15 years ago but feel excited and empowered to make a difference now with what I have learnt. It is disappointing and scary to realise that there are endless examples of this controlling behaviour and abuse that can be drawn upon. because controlling people, in the main, will want a rapid commitment, they may target people who they feel might give that. Sadly, our children should read this too before they get too far down the track of looking for partners and relationships.In the present climate of the Reclaim These Streets movement, those in charge should be paying far more attention to studies such as these, and the author's carefully observed 8-stage timeline as a preventative measure. If they couldn't have what they wanted or felt they were entitled too then no one else would have it either. The book reminds us that coercive control is often difficult to identify and understand, despite its recognition in law.

We all do our best to navigate the world as safely as possible, but there are some patterns of behaviour that seemingly defy logic, and an expert’s opinion (such as Monckton Smith’s) is a gold mine of information on how to understand these scenarios. Jane Monkton Smith considers the progress that has been made in how society handles domestic abuse then goes on to argue that so much more can be done. What you think you would do is go in all guns blazing, get everyone to see sense, remove your daughter from the relationship and then it’s all over. This book, for me, was a fascinating and disturbing insight into controlling behaviours, early signs, and how quickly they can escalate into something far more sinister. I found it really interesting especially as coercive control in romantic relationships is starting to be taken seriously legally and I think more people should know the warning signs of an unhealthy relationship.She was very frightened, and for good reason, but she had also had all of her choices taken away as well. When people think they’re in love, they’re totally happy for things to go really fast, and some of those relationships will be OK. she just provides answers as to how to recognize and stop these crimes before they become homicides.

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