How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety: and Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives

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Do you not think that the enemies of our nation quake in fear at the thought of an extra hundred million soldiers defending our country—soldiers who possess superhuman reflexes, balance, and unrivaled night vision?

Librarians and teachers have praised the book series for finally getting cats interested in reading … but at what cost? the last two chapters, on post-apocalyptic survival and satanism, are pure crazytown and feel discordant from the previous topics. Dust Jackets are not guaranteed and when still present, they will have various degrees of tear and damage.Birds and bees aren’t just flying creatures your cat chases, your cat needs to know about the dangers of premarital sex, the importance of abstinence, the cat heaven that embraces those that abstain, and the kitty hell that awaits those that live in sin. A decent book for your bookshelf so people can chuckle at the cover and the title, but the meat and bones of the book is shallow, unfunny, and tiring. The best rule of thumb is to teach your cat never to take a photo they wouldn't feel comfortable sharing with the whole world. Read more about the condition New: A new, unread, unused book in perfect condition with no missing or damaged pages. This short novel is filled with eight essential topics to speak with your cat about ranging from puberty to satanism.

I could see what it was trying to do—parody ultra-conservative pamphlets about how to protect your children. and there's good, practical advice to be extracted: Instead of presenting your cat with a toy mouse to play with, have your cat bat around the iodine tablets he'll use to purify tainted water. Furthermore, since cats are color blind, it is advisable that you mark the vest in some way so your cat will be able to tell it apart from any other non-orange vests they own of a similar cut. the rest of it - the idea of cats saving themselves for marriage, the image of cats taking the pill or wrestling, opposable thumblessly, with condom wrappers (which proves, of course, that god doesn't want cats to use birth control), the sins of spaying and neutering, the dangers of cats wearing flashy collars, inviting sexual attention, just weren't working for me on a humor-level.This book is actually a collection of a few different pamphlets that cover a variety of topics, including safety for guns, sex, online, and the apocalypse. I now feel confident in knowing my cats are growing up in a Good Christian Household and they can handle their weapons with ease. They seek world domination, and see our democratic union as a shining beacon of hope to those who might resist their tyranny.

Meanwhile, the climate machines of the Illuminati, operating out of a massive underground complex beneath the Denver airport, have set our planet on course toward irrevocable ruin. What this book is, is the best Coffee table book or reading material for the guest bathroom when you have unwanted house-guests that has ever been devised. It will take courage, and it will take hard work, but armed with the knowledge within these pages, we can make our cats – and America – great again!

it's a collection of parodies of those ultra-conservative pamphlets, warning cat-parents about the issues their cats will face in their day-to-day lives, topics such as gun safety, evolution, abstinence, online safety, drugs, puberty, post-apocalyptic survival, and satanism. Very important reading for all cats and their owners, this should be part of the RSPCA training process. Auburn has written a masterpiece - this book has been incredibly enlightening and has shown me how sinful my cat was - he was clearly part of a Satanic cult who did not abstain enough, and shot his gun to the sky, not to the ground, when warning the dogs. However, if your cat is going to use a firearm for hunting, it is important to make sure that they are properly licensed, that they do not fire the gun within five hundred feet of a residential area, and that they understand the importance of wearing a highly visible orange hunting vest. One chapter is funny, but this feels like that friend you have who tells the same "funny" story over and over whenever they are drunk while slapping your shoulder painfully while shouting, "GET IT?