Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

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After the death of my daughter and my wife's descent back into the trappings of alcoholism I thought that I was doing everything right.

Melody Beattie’s compassionate and insightful look into codependency—the concept of losing oneself in the name of helping another— has helped millions of readers understand that they are powerless to change anyone but themselves and that caring for the self is where healing begins. Her passion for writing has resulted in fifteen books, including: Co-Dependents Anonymous and The Grief Club.A codependent person is one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior. Having been raised by a codependent parent who catered to my other narcissistic parent, this book has been validating to read. I think the title of this book should have reflected the fact it was primarily geared towards alcoholics and/or children of alcoholics. I have been more involved with Buddhist practice and philosophy in my life, though I only really got into that when I found a Teacher who was as equally interested and engaged as I was with recognising what all Faith systems share. It might put some people off that it is based on the Al-Anon principles of 12 steps but if you can substitute the word of the problem that you are involved with in place of the word alcohol then it will become enlightening for you.

Nor am I discounting the experiences of those who feel they benefit from it - recovery and benefit are valuable however they come to any individual. I have waited about a week since finishing it to "test the water" and see if the small changes I made to my behavior would help, and I have realized that I can still feel happy, even in the midst of what seemed to be the most hopeless of situations. Dabar, be Karpmano dramos trikampio ar Kubler-Ross gedulo stadijų, analitikos mažai, istorijų mažai, tik žmonių citatos apie tai, kaip jiems blogai gyvent su priklausomais žmonėmis. Now, I have never been a big advocate for self-improvement books, but I have to say that this book was very enlightening. She might try to ignore the problem, or try to solve the problem herself, or cover up for her husband--but whatever her behavior, she is actually taking responsibility for his behavior or her shoulders.

A pioneering voice in self-help literature and the recovery movement, Melody Beattie is the author of many bestselling books—including The Language of Letting Go, Playing It by Heart, The Grief Club, Beyond Codependency, and The Codependent No More Workbook . Recently, it was given as a tentative recommendation again ("you may want to look into it to see if it will be useful for you") and I thought, with a distance of a few years, why not try it again?