Communion: The Female Search for Love: 2 (Love Song to the Nation, 2)

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By self-love, Hooks references the act of women accepting their body and soul as is, without trying to change things. Her guileless defiance in exploring her identity through books; “ I could and would have it all: my ideas, books, writing and love. i loved how she challenged the idea that women innately have more capacity for emotion and are naturally more capable of giving love than men and how this idea influences our relationships and society (and allows us to accept men who are emotionally withholding). Kadınların sistemin dişlileri arasında nasıl ezildiklerini, kendilerine ve birbirlerine nasıl düşmanlaştırıldıklarını, mutfakta aşçı, yuvada namuslu anne, yatakta iffetsiz kadın, iş yerinde ayın elemanı olmamız bekleniyor.

I'm still going to give this a decent rating, though, because I feel like hooks made a lot of good points. For some reason, it's associated with having "issues," and I fucking hate that, because in actuality it's one of the most healing practices out there, and one of the safest environments in which to explore power dynamics and kinks. tabi ki annelerimizin bizi çoğunlukla sevgileriyle istismar ettiği, babalarımızın da bizi sevmeyerek istismar ettiği bir gerçektir, bunun farkındaydım.

This work exposes our fears, hopes, and longing, all the while addressing the powerful insight that women who cannot love can never really grow up. Full disclosure I read this book like a bowerbird looking for jewels relevant to ME, and outright skipped the chapters which talked about women's experience of midlife. In my conversations and interviews, it was rare for any female to admit that we had found even one or two of these qualities in male romantic partners. Are they really on the road to total wellness, or are we all just living in the delusion of gender equality being on the horizon?

I don't know a whole lot about feminist theory, but what I learned about it here I found fascinating. For the most part, I find her discussion fair and balanced, and rooted in eliminating patriarchy and creating equality for all people.This book is about transformation, about mutuality, about self love, about commitment, and about being with and alongside men in ways that challenge and end patriarchy, and i finished the book with a lot of notes in the margins and in my notebook. Idk quite what I was expecting bc this was my first hooks read but I was sort of shocked at how queer women were absolutely an after thought in this book. Though feminist rhetoric has supported female sexual liberation, Hooks warns about the slippery slope between women filling the unfulfilled spaces of their lives with sexual voraciousness.

Hooks draws interesting links to the 21st century struggle for love that raises women up instead of oppresses, but at times the anecdotes from the feminist movement of the 70s did not offer much but reminiscence for a time that I didn't live through.A woman who does not learn how first to fulfill her psychological needs for acceptance will always operate from a space of lack.