The Joy of Saying No: A Simple Plan to Stop People-Pleasing, Reclaim Your Boundaries, and Say Yes to the Life You Want: A Simple Plan to Stop People ... Boundaries, and Say Yes to the Life You Want

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foster more intimate relationships and fulfilling experiences, and reconnect with your values and authentic self.

When we’re averse to saying no, it’s because it’s what we learned in the environment we were raised in, and so we think that saying yes is how to be a good person. Then one day when Lue was 28 and meeting with a medical consultant about her lack of progress and dismal treatment options, she suddenly heard the word no — and it had come from her own lips. This is THE book for me— found myself nodding often… and wishing I had a physical copy to be annotating. People-pleasing–putting others ahead of ourselves to avoid something negative or to get something we want or need–runs rampant in our society.People-pleasing--putting others ahead of ourselves to avoid something negative or to get something we want or need--runs rampant in our society.

Door de voorbeelden die ze geeft zie ik ook echt de mogelijkheden hoe het gedrag doorbroken kan worden en kan worden veranderd. Lue’s work on emotional baggage has been featured in Forbes, the New York Times, and the Washington Post. Lots of solid advice mixed in with some repetitiveness and, of course, the overarching feeling I have routinely with self-help books: the strategies can be far too individual. If you, too, are ticking “Good Person” boxes while making yourself miserable, this episode is for you.They say no when they need, want to, and should, and they consider themselves before they say yes rather than it being an afterthought. The problem is still being shamed, guilted, blackmailed and mistreated for doing what I do, and that you can not do it right, ever. But before we take a closer look at each of these types so you can discover which is yours, it’s important to know that this isn’t just about sticking a label to yourself.

If, when someone pisses you off or they don’t meet your expectations, you immediately remember all the things you’ve ‘done’ for them, you need to check yourself and *stop* people pleasing. The “Efforter” says Yes to all demands and gives 100 per cent before realising they are over-committed. I went in thinking this might be a bit bland and tell me everything I already knew, ie: yes I’m a people pleaser. For her entire life, Natalie Lue was used to pleasing other people and putting their interests before hers. She’s the author of The Joy of Saying No: A Simple Plan to Stop People Pleasing, Reclaim Boundaries, and Say Yes to the Life You Want and for 8 years hosted The Baggage Reclaim Sessions podcast.Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behaviour or unique IDs on this site.

A people pleaser, whether they’re aware of it or not, is nearly constantly grappling with low-level but nonetheless intense anxiety that’s so normalized that they use it as a trigger to say yes. There were good things about it- I really liked the 2-week exercise where I needed to observe and journal every "yes" and every "no" to identify the baggage behind it.This includes being emotionally available, healing from past experiences and trauma so that they stop having a stranglehold on your life, enjoying loving relationships, not putting up with shady malarkey, and living life as a happier, peaceful, more authentic you.