I Love My Mummy

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By the time I was a teenager, I was certain that Mom wasn’t leading an ordinary sort of life. Yet neither Daddy nor anybody else in the town had an unkind word to say about her. The mothers continued to send their kids to Mom’s day nursery. And the only time a policeman ever came to our house was with a small boy who had run away from home, asking Mom politely if the child could stay with the nursery school kids until his mother could be found. In her way, Mom was a respected citizen of Easton. And Daddy probably respected her more than anyone. Well, in case you haven’t noticed, there’s a slight slump in the building business in this part of the state. The firm just doesn’t have enough work for me to do. They gave me two weeks’ severance pay, so I guess that should prove it wasn’t my fault.” At first, there was something slightly humiliating about returning to my mother's house, something akin to shame over ending up in the very place I had so casually abandoned a decade and a half before.

It was weeks before I learned the truth—not from Les, but from his mother. Les, it seemed, had not decided to leave college. The college had decided that Les’ grades weren’t good enough for him to stay. It bothered me that he’d begun our marriage with a lie.There were thirty kids the first day, all running up and down stairs, skinning their knees, falling out of trees, spilling paint, and having the time of their lives because Mom never scolded anybody. To cut the numbers down after that, and she started charging, though I’m sure she never felt quite right about it. We decided against the pizza almost immediately. We drove, instead, to a quiet, high-class cafe down by the river, where they had tiny tables with softly glowing candles. Mom greeted us at the door with smiles, hugs, and kisses. Good smells emanated from the kitchen. She’d gone all out to make it a festive occasion. And I must admit that it was good to see her again.

The fact that the OnlyFans platform is a playground for porn and other adult content has led many people to think that it is just for the young, but there is clearly a place for the young at heart as well. In fact many of the most successful OnlyFans content creators are also among the most seasoned. Daddy nodded slowly, and bit his lip. “I never loved any woman, before or since, the way I love your mother.” Daddy, I’m going to try to work it out with Les,” I said. “I don’t know if it’s possible—but I don’t believe this has got to be the end of the world—even though it feels like it is.” She was a big, unaffected woman who laughed when she was happy and cried when she was sad, and didn’t mind a good fight now and then to clear the air. She could be sarcastic, but she never lied. And now that I’m older, I see that in her way, she loved Daddy. He was the one great love of her life. But she loved other men, too. (She needed a lot of male companionship, if you know what I mean, and Daddy couldn’t always give that to her.) She loved bright lights and parties and New Year’s Eve. Daddy was like me, shy, uncomfortable with more than one or two people, not a good mixer. I guess she married him because she felt sorry for him, and thought she could cheer him up. When I met Les, he lived in Mercersberg, about ten miles away from us, and went to Mercersberg High School. He was one of the outstanding boys in his school, sports editor of the newspaper, member of just about every honorary society in the school, and a star in its debating team. That was how I met him.I felt another piece of my world crumble away. I didn’t want to believe it. “Do you mean you still see each other—that way?” I gasped. None of your business,” I snapped. “Gladys, use your napkin,” said my mother, drawing attention away from me. On Friday nights, I would load my sad belongings into a lumpy duffle bag and kiss my children, whom I had never been separated from before, goodbye. Then I would sob every second of the 20 minute drive to my mother's, turning up the sad songs on the radio and screaming out the lyrics to the empty car. Daddy shook his head when I finished. He asked no questions, he gave no advice. Just shook his head. That made me angry—he could at least say it was too bad.