Taking Charge of Her Marriage: A FLR Tale of Spanking, Figging, and Pegging

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What are some misconceptions you feel people have about the flr dynamic, or your relationship personally?

The fact that FLR relationships are consensual doesn’t mean that consent is easily revoked. In fact, I haven’t met many men who have started this kind of relationship and then walked away from it.Last Fall, my interest in being paddled fell to zero overnight. Leukemia? Who knows. But it’s the reason I now post so few pictures of men being spanked. What’s the biggest challenge you face being in an flr relationship, or what do you struggle with the most? Now I want you to put your hands on my desk and bend over. Spread those feet apart.” Pants around his ankles he obeyed her. She reached between his legs and handled his balls and pressed his asshole. “You’re mine, to do with as I please. Do you understand that?” “Yes Mistress” he answered hoarsely. I thought Susan and I had a good marriage. Nothing special, but I loved her and we had some fun times. In retrospect, I suppose most of those good times occurred early in our life together, but still, we’d been married for twelve years when she surprised me Friday night as I came in the door. Some of us talk about it in terms of “consensual non-consent” or, perhaps less controversially, “blanket consent.” We consent to the disciplinary relationship as a whole, and perhaps to the rules that govern it. But, we don’t want to have a choice on whether particular spankings are given or other disciplinary measures applied within that context.

I understand, baby, so stay here a minute while I try to untangle your bewilderment. Do you remember what happened the last time we had the Johnsons and the Millers over for barbeque?” Disciplinary spankings, also known as punishment spankings, or corporal punishment, are usually less common than maintenance spankings, but are perhaps the most essential. They establish you as the source of the pain he fears as well as the pleasure he craves, motivating his entire mindset. It is vital that he understands that serious matters have serious consequences, and that it is as important not to displease you as it is to please you. Always make sure he knows why he is being punished, so he can learn from his mistake, correct his behavior, grow as person, and strengthen your relationship. For best results, make certain the spanking is severe enough that he learns the lesson. The frequency of disciplinary spankings varies depending on how minor an infraction you wish to punish, but for most who reserve such spankings for more major incidents, these spankings should be infrequent, and more so the longer he is yours. The intensity and duration of these spankings also varies depending on the severity and nature of his infraction, but generally speaking range from mid to extreme. Isabella: “Maintenance spanking is an essential part of our routine. It’s like a scheduled board meeting in a successful company; it’s regular, expected, and sets the tone for our roles. For me, it’s a means to underscore my authority. It’s direct, tangible, and a clear reminder of our agreed-upon dynamics. I would absolutely recommend it to any woman in an FLR. It’s a powerful, straightforward tool for reinforcing your authority.” Frequency We talked for the next couple of hours and agreed I would never spank her again under any circumstances, but if she felt I needed it I would get it. That eventually led to a spanking on the first Saturday night of each month for the past many many years for my “transgressions” in the previous month. If I do something that particularly pisses her off, I can bet on getting one in between. That usually happens about once or twice a year. (OK, the last time was this morning, which is what prompted me to write this) I tripped over this story last month and thought to post on my birthday. It’s another by Divine Miss E. This one is different from the others. It shows that a bottom can imagine how she would top. It never happened. Submission was never my cup of tea, First published 1998.It wasn’t till the next morning that I realized what deep shit I was in. I’m putting in a second bathroom and have been getting tons of architectural advice from my sister-in-law, and I realized I could forget about asking her about the construction of the open-stud book-shelf-wall, which was her idea in the first place. I said, I guess I better not ask you for any advice on the bathroom. She sat down across from me on the porch. She explained that it had been my tone, so condescending and arrogant–that she had seen my head rising and that I looked down my nose at her and flared my nostrils. He was nervous, but concealed it well. “So, why are you here?” she queried. “I believe you know why” he said, trying to seem stern. “Of course I do, but I enjoy hearing you tell me.” She stood close to his chair, and looked down at him, smirking. “It’s my birthday.” “And…” she prompted. Yes, I certainly did do that,” I said with a laugh. “Remind me of how I corrected you that evening in front of the Johnsons and the Millers.” Ever noticed how much of the BDSM vocabulary emphasizes that it’s meant to be something different from day-to-day reality? My wife’s older sister is the strongest in her clan and though we get along great, now and then I bridle. We were at a vacation house recently when she asseverated that golf is not a sport, it’s an activity. I asked her to go through the list of activities, not sports (cards, crosswords, billiards—anything you can smoke while doing) and generally agreed with her but I said firmly that golf is not an activity, it is a demanding sport and when she perseverated, I said, Why don’t we talk about string theory? She got a blank look. Huh? Says I, Well golf is not something you really know anything about, so we might as well discuss your opinion of string theory.

Finally, as in any healthy adult relationship, there will be lots of discussion and negotiation about each party’s needs and about what is working and what is not. A female- led relationship is not a female- dictated relationship. “Consensual non-consent” and the psychology of the disciplined/submissive male Harry is the senior architect in our company, and yes, he rakes in a lot more cash than I do. Men at the top in our business get the cream while us workers make do with the skim. But this was still a surprise, I didn’t know that Susan even knew Harry Belcher.

Real” seems to be a very important adjective for men interested in Female Led disciplinary relationships. We want spankings to be “real” spankings, i.e. painful and hard to take. We need them to arise from real situations, i.e. we want them to be for real offenses. And, we want them imposed in a way that feels like exactly that — like they are being imposed on us, whether we like it or not. Finished, I let him loose and told him to get up. As I have taught him, over the years, he thanked me in the traditional manner. Tell us a little bit about yourselves. How old you are, how long you’ve been married (or, in a relationship), how you heard about domestic discipline, what made you start practicing, etc?

Alice has to present as a girl in the home. I know many FLRs and femdom relationships don’t use feminisation but this is discipline rule number one for me. I expect her in female ‘wear’ at all times at home, female underwear outside and to have a female beauty regime.

The Razor Strap (Strop)

I’m sure that explains it. Once you did rejoin us, you did a nice job of thanking everyone for coming and wishing them goodnight. I was relieved, actually. I did not want to have to spank you, in front of our friends, twice in the same evening. They had not yet fully recovered from the once. I’m not sure that Sam and Bill have recovered still. Remember that need for authenticity I talked about? Does it feel like an authentic imposed punishment if you have much say over the “why, when, and how” questions? Real FLRs aren’t about “pretending” to not be in control A good, sound spanking, on the other hand, releases built up tensions and frustrations in a marriage and can actually be enjoyable for the wife. So, instead of feeling helpless and desparing, a wife can threaten a punishment she is more than willing to carry out and feel power and hope for her marriage instead. Additionally, her punishment of him will be loving as well as disciplinary. Rather, she was making it clear that even if I was riled up about something, and even if I might actually have a point, that didn’t relieve me of the obligation to raise it respectfully and give her a reasonable opportunity to respond. When I say female ‘wear’, I may actually want her naked for the day or evening but she has to wear high heels, wig and have her face and nails made up as a minimum. Maintaining this discipline establishes my authority and control since Alice never actually wanted to be a girl although she has become accustomed to it over time.