Single On Purpose: Redefine Everything. Find Yourself First.

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I’ve had hundreds of sessions just like this. Different stories, but all the same. It’s why I wrote this book. We don’t know how to be single. It’s a journey most do not embark on.

As a entry level worker who hasn't been in many relationships, this book is a pleasing requirement for defining the state of being single.No-bullsh*t ways to confront your past—what you've settled for before and what you're changing today This book is also for anyone who is currently in a relationship but the dynamic has changed. You’ve drifted. Grown apart. The in love has turned to in lost, and neither of you know yourself anymore. There’s lots of finger-pointing, sex is scheduled or doesn’t happen at all, and you’ve both lost touch with the individuals you were when you came together. You might have complaints about your partner but are coming to realize that it’s not really about them. It’s not about changing anyone or fixing the relationship. You have no more energy for that. It’s about starting with you. Our safe tree also includes our tribe. It doesn’t matter if you’re an introvert or extrovert, the people you engage with will encourage you and sharpen you. Or bring you down and stunt your growth. It makes all the difference. I’ve tried life alone. I’ve surrounded myself with people who were negative and draining. It doesn’t work. And if one of those people is the person you’re sharing a bed with, there needs to be a real honest conversation. Or many. And if nothing changes, you need to be with someone else. Your potential and everything you can offer the world isn’t even about you. These were the thoughts sprinting through my mind as panic set in. But I had to tell myself I was choosing it. It was a decision that I don’t usually make, and I had to believe I would come out the other side better because of it. That’s what breaking a pattern looks like. Not just for me, but for all the clients I would go on to help. That was the fuel for me, the 92 octane. So I did it. And I am not going to lie. It was hard. Like, addiction recovery hard. But I took it a day at a time, like they say in the meetings. And slowly but surely, it got easier. Not only did it get easier, I became different. Things started shifting on the inside. I started to grow.

Doing things for the outcome rather than for the joy of the process disconnects you from yourself. You start chasing. You get desperate. You forget your “why.” But most importantly, you don’t allow yourself to be happy until you get what you want. And if that never comes, you never practice being happy.” Sped through this one and thoroughly enjoyed listening on Audible. Also believe this is applicable for those already in relationships, like I am, or in any walk in life. Since I’m already a follower of John’s podcasts, it was comforting to hear him read through this self help book and enlightening to hear more nuggets of his personal journey & life lessons that he wove into this book. Very humanizing and enjoyed his vulnerability and openness. Few takeaways:I was in a nine-year relationship with someone verbally abusive. Then another one that was a nightmare, well, not in the beginning, but you know... I pro a ly should have realized that an author that calls himself the "Angry Therapist" would be way too negative for me. He was. Lindsay interviews Candace St. John, an epidemiologist and public health specialist with additional training in pediatric sleep and lactation support, who helps parents cut through the noise and use science in combination with their own intuition to inform their parenting decisions. In this episode we discuss a lot of the myths and truths around infant development and needs, including hot topics like sleep training, breastfeeding, responsive parenting, post-partum, early attachment, screen time, pregnancy and birth, trauma in early childhood and more! So what does that look like to make it about you? Here are three things I did after my divorce that repositioned me and allowed me to become a better version of myself. The motivation to write this book came from coaching thousands of people in the last decade who experienced severe depression because they were single. Many of them had successful careers. Many of them had amazing friends. But because they had no one to kiss in the morning and do nothing with on a Friday night, they saw themselves as failures. They internalized the idea of not having a partner as being defective. Most had been in nothing but shitty, toxic, lopsided relationships, and yet being single was worse. They figured something was wrong with them, and they came to me to find out what that was. A lot of them were in their thirties or forties, and they felt like time was running out. They felt the sand in the hourglass draining as they lost more and more hope.

Establish non-negotiables / affirmations for what you want out of a partner and boundaries to stand by ahead of you delving into another relationship or jumping from lily pad to another. Examples of this: I started this book thinking that it was a celebration of being single and that it would talk about societal pressures to be in a relationship. I thought (and hoped) it would explore the joys of being on your own and how you can be a complete and happy person without being tied to someone else. I was wrong.Journal questions that don’t feel like “journaling,” focusing on brief, direct, and honest answers to help you know yourself Lindsay interviews Paul Chamberlain, a certified crisis advocate and coach, husband and father, and the creator and host of the podcast Smart Funny Tortured. After suffering from over a decade of undiagnosed chronic illnesses and an inauthentic self he found himself struggling with profound depression and at times suicidal that led to separation from his family and near bankruptcy. Today, thanks to an abundance of love and grit, as well as a blend of traditional therapy, coaching, integrative medicine, and holistic lifestyle changes; he now lives a happy balanced life with his wife/business partner, their two kids and the beloved chaos bundle of pets. He now helps others shift their relationship with shame, find their true essence, and get cozy with the better parts of their Darker Angels.