What Mothers Do: especially when it looks like nothing

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Breastfeeding shouldn’t hurt. Whoever thinks that is completely wrong. Women’s breasts are prepared for breastfeeding. They understand that slammed doors I hate you’s times of storming about and normal kids stuff are normal. And deep down moms know that they’re doing something right – setting limits – and that someday those kids will remember that mom fought for them.

Mother is the Best Person in Your Life 20 Reasons why your Mother is the Best Person in Your Life

If it weren’t for your mom, you wouldn’t be breathing right now. If nothing else, you should thank her for that. Moms breastfeed even if it’s painful, yes, because breast milk is the best food a child can receive. The word ‘mother’ refers to a relationship. It means more than doing everyday menial tasks. Each mother creates her own relationship, or conversation, with her baby.

Her definitions of a mother's work include learning about, listening to her baby; the ability to be constantly interruptable; the socializing of her baby; her worry.

Naomi Stadlen is the bestselling author of What Mothers Do

Good mothers know when they need a break and take one. Good mothers know when they need a break, but can’t always take one. Good mothers don’t always know when they need a break, and then beat themselves up for saying or doing things all good mothers do when they need a break and don’t get one. At the other end of the spectrum, the narcissistic mother may become so enmeshed with her children and overbearing that she engages in covert emotional incest. She makes her children the center of the world and responsible for fulfilling her emotional needs. Good mothers never yell at their children. Good mothers yell at their children and then apologize for losing their patience. Good mothers yell at their children and then don’t apologize because occasionally kids need to know they’ve crossed a line, dammit. Like any narcissist, the narcissistic mother engages in triangulation manufacturing triangles among her children and even their peers. She destructively compares her children to their peers, teaching them that they fall short in terms of looks, personality, obedient behavior, and accomplishments. She unfairly pits two or more siblings against one another, always asking, Why cant you be more like your sister or your brother? She stirs up competition, drama, and chaos. She might make one child a golden child (doting upon them excessively) while making the other a scapegoat. This form of devaluation can leave a painful imprint; it causes her children to compare themselves to others as a way to evaluate their self-worth. 3. She treats her children as extensions of her.Mothers don’t sleep, they don’t rest. Their bodies are endowed with a special gene that makes them stoic and immune to fatigue.

What Mothers Do : Especially when it Looks Like Nothing What Mothers Do : Especially when it Looks Like Nothing

The narcissistic mother has no qualms about using her emotional outbursts to control and manipulate her children, yet when her children express their emotions, she invalidates them completely. She redirects the focus to her needs and guilt-trips her children at every sign of perceived disobedience. She provokes her children and is sadistically pleased when her put-downs and insults have staying power.Are not afraid to dance in the kitchen, sing out loud, spin in circles, play music, and just have fun to music that they loved in high school Us moms have those moments where we can just make the kids laugh. Let the dishes go for a moment. Or maybe just do the dishes while dancing and being happy. There’s power in that. So find your favorite oldies (hahah. . . aging) channel on Pandora or Spotify and just dance. this book not only hit upon many thoughts i had been having, it hit on upon thoughts i hadn't even begun to think. it was like she looked inside me and wrote a book about everything i have felt and thought since my son was born. i have even been keeping a list of some of the passages that "speak" to me. it has chapter titles like "nothing prepares you" and "So tired i could die". When you want to climb the tallest mountain, your mother will make your lunch for you. She is the one who will support your dreams when no one else will. She will also remind you to wear clean underwear. This book was recommended to me by a fellow mother at a baby group when I mentioned my fear I wasn't doing my best as a mother and felt overwhelmed. It took me a couple years to finally get around to getting and reading this book and my only regret is that I didn't do so earlier! If you know a good mother, share this with her. Let her know good mothers come in all flavors, and tell her what is especially delicious about hers.