All My Wild Mothers: Motherhood, loss and an apothecary garden

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My ugly grief does not fit this pink-tinged world of motherhood. No one wants to hear about death, so close to birth. In my last trimester, there were no trips to buy baby clothes, no antenatal classes to learn breathing techniques for an easier birth, no numbers swapped with other expectant mums. When others were nesting, I stayed in my room and cried and, when the time came, I gave birth at home beside the coal fire, as snow fell from the January sky.”

What was meant to be our happy-ever-after has turned out to be our barely-hanging-on. It has been four years since my sister died, and my son was born. Since then I have walked like a ghost-mother, broken by grief that wraps itself around me and will not let go. I am worn down and tired of failing to be the lover, the mother, the women I thought I was meant to be” All My Wild Mothers is a profound exploration of grief, identity, and rediscovery; a testament that life and love persists, even when we think all is lost. Five years later, and that life feels very different to the future Victoria had imagined. Struggling with complex grief, the demands of being a parent-carer for her young chronically ill son, and the impact of deeper austerity, everything feels broken. So glad to have been part of bringing this story to a wider audience. It is extraordinary work..." (Ronnie Goodyer, Indigo Dreams Publishing Ltd) Bennett said: " All My Wild Mothers has been grown over the past 10 years, rooted in the landscape of loss, motherhood, and the complex demands of caregiving. I could never have imagined that one day, it would be published alongside some of our best loved, and treasured champions of the natural world. It is an honour to join the Two Roads family, and to be part of their commitment to publishing stories that inspire us to nurture what connects and sustains, rather than what divides."

Victoria Bennett is a disabled and chronically-ill poet, author. Her writing spans poetry, memoir, non-fiction and games-based storytelling, and she has She written and talked extensively on grief, care, and writing through times of change.

At the time of this initial event, she is pregnant with her first child, as the story continues her son becomes as much a part of the narrative as the author herself. She lives in Orkney, with her husband and son. When not juggling writing, full-time care, and genetic illness, she can be found where the wild weeds grow, growing her apothecary garden. All My Wild Mothersis her debut memoir, and was published in 2023 (Two Roads Books).you've captured my lifetime in palliative care. Just wonderful..." (Dr Kathryn Mannix, author 'With The End In Mind -- How To Live And Die Well) I admired the composition, with each chapter starting by highlighting a plant - it’s virtues, dangers and healing properties. What I really gained from the book was the vulnerability of the author and the impressive way she was able to encapsulate these emotions so psychically that I could live each situation along with her, a rare occurrence for me. Grief, pain, joy, death, life, pressure, relief, memories, childhood, oppression and bringing life into the world and the little battles and pleasures of growing.

Can I allow myself to believe in the mystery, alongside the weight of truth, and learn to trust the beauty I find growing in the dark?Weaving of memoir and herbal folklore, All My Wild Mothers is a story of re-wilding our wastelands, and the transformation that can happen when we do. In a time of uncertainty, it has something to teach us about resilience, and the power of joyful resistance. I share quite a few things with the author: we have had a child at the same age(albeit it was my second, but due to a huge 14 year gap it does feel as if it's my first :D), I have shared the same worry for the wellbeing of my unborn child, but also the worry of having to deal with a potentially life long condition clouding our lives; I have home educated my first born and we very much considering doing the same for our second one; I am a bit of an amateurish gardener, having had a raised bed for some year now!. Sharing all this with Victoria made me really feel her heartbreak, to the point where I started imagining how it would be to suddenly lose my sister. I have had to rein in tears as I was reading, countless times! And saying that All My Wild Mothers is a raw and tearjerker read is an understatement! The narrative itself is an enchanting combination of memoir and herbal folklore, and it really pulled me in as Victoria weaves her story through details and facts about plants. Her writing is passionate, and in fact it reminds me of Raynor Winn and the way I felt reading about her pain and loss too. Motherhood is a big theme throughout; a kind of hard work that takes up mental energy you don't feel you possess in times of grief, but also spurs you on with a beauty and joy previously unimagined.

An intimate weaving of memoir and herbal folklore, All My Wild Mothersis a story of rewilding our wastelands and the transformation that can happen when we do.All My Wild Mothers is a deeply moving meditation on what it means to be resilient in a world that can be very unfair and what it means to carve out a space for beauty and cultivate a love of and reverence for nature when we live in a world that is all about "progress", wealth accumulation, regulations and profits. The book begins at a moment in her life when there is an unexpected death in the family, so grief and coping with it, learning how to manage its lingering presence, plays a significant role in what follows. Truly a glimpse inside the world of the writer, stunningly honest storytelling as she shares the grief of loss and the power of new life entwined. Wonderfully written and totally immersive, hard to believe this is a debut.